Jade.postpartum

 I’m frustrated with myself.  As my last post indicated, I started the year happy, hopeful and progressing... The last few weeks however, I feel like I’ve gone backwards.  Melbourne went into lockdown again (Thankfully for only 5 days this time!) and I feel like I just fell into a hole when that happened. Oscar was sick for pretty much the whole lockdown which didn’t help and definitely contributed to my low mood... but I don’t know, something just snapped and it was like the “everything is ok” facade that I was so determined to uphold slipped and broke. All of a sudden I was just a big old emotional mess again.  I’ll admit I did wallow in it for those 5 days. Healthy eating and exercise was replaced with slothfulness and over-eating. I felt overwhelmed with sadness and flooded with all those negative thoughts and feelings that I’ve been working so hard to overcome.  It was awful. I felt out of control. I didn’t want to stay in this headspace and I needed help. ...

 I’m back!  I thought that maybe I would stop blogging because I felt like not many people were reading my entries. I tend to get a bit funny with things like that sometimes... I start to overthink it and worry about silly things...Actually I overthink and worry about silly things in all aspects of my life to be honest 🙃😅  The thing is though that I do enjoy writing and it shouldn’t really matter how many people are reading along. I’m going to keep doing it for me...it’s a bonus if others get something out of it too 😊 So welcome back regular readers! And hello to any new ones 😊  I have started 2021 with a determination to make this year better than the last. To really work on myself and my happiness and I’m pleased to say- so far, so good!  The things that have helped me the most so far in this process of “working on myself” are: 1. Seeing a psychologist  2. Going back to work  3. Exercising and being more mindful about what I’m eating Honestly see...

 As the year draws to a close I thought I would write one last blog. I started the year 2020 with a list of goals and was optimistic and determined to tick them all off! I don’t think anyone could have predicted the events that would unfold and shake up our whole lives let alone our New Years resolutions! 😅 One of the goals that I did achieve this year however, was to start a blog and that I did. I have enjoyed sharing my thoughts with you and I’m grateful for those who’ve supported and encouraged me along the way. I think this will be my last entry for this blog and I hope you’ve enjoyed reading along.  It’s certainly been a bumpy ride for me this year and the list of things I’ve achieved may not be a long one but I am proud of myself for getting through this difficult year. I’m feeling optimistic for the future and looking forward to starting 2021 with some new and exciting things coming my way. I could write a big list of all the things that sucked about this year but I st...

  Lockdown is over here in Melbourne and it feels like a huge weight has been lifted. There are still lots of rules to follow and things we can’t do yet (like visit family interstate) but that taste of “freedom” and the beginnings of a return to normality (at least “COVID normal”  😅 ) feels so good. 2020 will be known as the “Year that the world stopped”. Being forced to stop everything does have it’s benefits, and has hopefully given us some new and better perspectives.  For me personally it has been a reminder to always be prepared; To not take the simple things for granted.  To take better care of myself physically and mentally And to cherish and love every moment spent with friends and family.  Looking back on this year I feel sadness, disappointment and hurt, but scattered amongst the negativity are brightly shining blessings that I am truly grateful for... My beautiful son and the joy he brings, My loving and devoted husband, Support from caring friends a...

 I’m stuck in a hospital bed waiting for surgery (been here about 26 hrs now 🤪) and boredom has reduced me to writing another blog entry 😂 I’ve been experiencing episodes of horrendous pain which is mostly felt in my upper back. This has been happening every few weeks for over a year now and absolutely nothing will ease it...I just have to wait until it passes which is usually about an hour or so. I was seeing the physio thinking the problem was my back (because that was where I felt the most pain), but I started to realise that my stomach would get very bloated and sore too and I would get nauseous and sometimes vomit. The pains felt similar to labour, but unlike contractions there were no breaks... just constant almost unbearable pain. I thought maybe I was intolerant to something I was eating because the pains would always come on not long after eating dinner. I spoke to my GP and straight away he said it sounded like gallstones and wanted me to get an ultrasound to check. The...

What a crazy year it’s been so far amirite!? 🤪 Living in Melbourne and being in isolation/lockdown for most of the year has made an already challenging stage of life even more lonely and difficult. My mental health has really been suffering lately and I’m sure there are many others feeling it too. Not even being able to go outside without a mask on truly makes me feel like I’m suffocating sometimes.  I know things could be worse and there are people going through harder things than this...but right now, in my life, this is incredibly hard for me. I miss my family and friends in Adelaide that I haven’t seen since January and wonder when I’ll be able to see them again... Oscar is one in a few days and it’s upsetting that we can’t celebrate together and that my family has had to miss out on most of his first year.  I’m trying my best to push past my feelings and be present and patient and happy for my little boy, but more and more I’m finding myself frustrated and snappy and fed...

Oscar will be a year old next month and I’m already feeling so emotional about it!😭 What a year! I actually feel proud of myself for making it through...we’ve had some really challenging times. Being a mum is HARD! It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done but it’s definitely rewarding at the same time. The other week I was trying to put Oscar to bed and he was fighting it hard (as always). By the end of the day my patience is worn, I’m exhausted and it’s so frustrating when baby thinks it’s party time instead of sleepy time! 🙃🙃🙃 I starting crying and Oscar looked at me, very concerned... he crawled up to me and cuddled me as if to comfort me and after a few minutes he was asleep. It was such a beautiful moment and definitely made me feel like all the struggles are worth it for moments like that 🥰 It’s amazing how fast babies grow and develop and even though the days can seem so long sometimes, it really does go by so quickly! I love watching Oscar learn new things and he is so p...