Jade.postpartum

I didn’t want to post anything about this topic because it’s absolutely everywhere! In saying that, it’s hard to think of anything else to talk about because of how consuming it has become. I’ll admit, a month or so ago when I first started hearing about Coronavirus, I didn’t think it was a big deal. I didn’t think it would escalate so dramatically. Now it has become a self-isolating, social-distancing, stock-piling pandemic! As a Christian, I was brought up being taught that in the “last days” (Before the Second Coming of Jesus Christ) There will be wars, famines, earthquakes and pestilence (which I now know is fatal, widespread disease). These things have been happening all over the world for many years, but I personally have not been affected by any of them until now... I kind of feel like I’m in a bit of a bubble at the moment...kind of in disbelief. I know this is a big deal. I know it has affected so many lives and will continue to do so. But it still hasn’t sunk in yet...

I’ve never been diagnosed but I’m 99% sure I have social anxiety.  It’s not extreme to the point where I’m agoraphobic or have panic attacks, but I definitely do not feel comfortable in most social settings. I HATE being the centre of attention 😅 As much as I loved my wedding day I did feel  uncomfortable having all eyes on me. I don’t like parties and especially don’t like hosting them. 🙃 Buuuut at the same time I don’t like spending too much time alone either. I have always valued my friends and made them a high priority in my life. Moving to Melbourne was challenging for a number of reasons and one of the biggest ones was not having any friends close by. I feel that the older I get the harder it is to “put myself out there” and make friends. Fortunately as a member of the church I automatically am part of a group of people I can make friends with. However, for someone like me who is not outgoing, it is still a challenge. I used to get so upset about losing friends but I’m now

Today was rough. Saturday has become the day of the week I look forward to most. I’ve started a yoga class and I’m really enjoying it (mostly enjoying the hour and a half to myself to be honest 😅). So it was a good start to the day but after picking up Oscar from his Grandma’s it all went downhill.  Jordan usually finishes work early on Saturday which is another thing I look forward to...Not today 😩 I don’t know why but absolutely everything was upsetting Oscar today. Nothing I did was good enough. Breastfeeding is usually the one thing that will always calm him down but even that wasn’t enough today.  It. was. Driving. Me. Crazy! 🤪 Jordan finally comes home...hallelujah! Pass him the baby! 😂 Baby is happy for a short amount of time while I shower then back to being upset 😩  I’m trying to keep it together because we had planned to go out for dinner (cheat meal after eating healthy all week! 🥳) So I’m going through my wardrobe looking for something nice to wear and NOTH