I’ve never been diagnosed but I’m 99% sure I have social anxiety.
It’s not extreme to the point where I’m agoraphobic or have panic attacks, but I definitely do not feel comfortable in most social settings. I HATE being the centre of attention 😅 As much as I loved my wedding day I did feel uncomfortable having all eyes on me. I don’t like parties and especially don’t like hosting them. 🙃
Buuuut at the same time I don’t like spending too much time alone either. I have always valued my friends and made them a high priority in my life. Moving to Melbourne was challenging for a number of reasons and one of the biggest ones was not having any friends close by. I feel that the older I get the harder it is to “put myself out there” and make friends. Fortunately as a member of the church I automatically am part of a group of people I can make friends with. However, for someone like me who is not outgoing, it is still a challenge.
I used to get so upset about losing friends but I’m now realising that it’s a normal part of life. People move on, grow apart and sometimes friendships fall apart. I think it’s lucky and rare to have a friendship that lasts and stays the same despite the inevitable changes we all go through. I know I feel lucky to have a few friends that I know will always be there for me no matter what.
It’s so important for our mental health to have good friends. I’ve heard it said that “You become like the five people you spend the most time with.” I don’t know if that’s a proven fact but I know that my husband and I definitely have become more alike after 3 years of marriage 😅
This week I caught up with a friend who I met initially at my previous job. I spend most days at home with Oscar and it can be quite draining. When I woke up on the day I’d planned to catch up with my friend, I honestly wasn’t feeling social at all. I seriously considered canceling (this happens a lot to me 😩) But I didn’t. I knew it would be good for me to interact with someone older than 6 months 😂 I’m glad I didn’t cancel. Even though we are quite different, I feel like we have a lot of similar views and beliefs and it was nice to have positive conversation especially amidst this “pandemic” the world is going through at the moment.
I think that good friendships are invaluable. Friends lift you up when you’re down. “Venting” or expressing your problems and difficulties to a friend can be so freeing. Even if they don’t know how to respond, just a listening ear is sometimes all you need. I do think that people come into our lives for a reason and I’m grateful for all the friends I’ve had over the years; whether we’ve drifted apart, moved on or are still good friends today.
It’s not extreme to the point where I’m agoraphobic or have panic attacks, but I definitely do not feel comfortable in most social settings. I HATE being the centre of attention 😅 As much as I loved my wedding day I did feel uncomfortable having all eyes on me. I don’t like parties and especially don’t like hosting them. 🙃
Buuuut at the same time I don’t like spending too much time alone either. I have always valued my friends and made them a high priority in my life. Moving to Melbourne was challenging for a number of reasons and one of the biggest ones was not having any friends close by. I feel that the older I get the harder it is to “put myself out there” and make friends. Fortunately as a member of the church I automatically am part of a group of people I can make friends with. However, for someone like me who is not outgoing, it is still a challenge.
I used to get so upset about losing friends but I’m now realising that it’s a normal part of life. People move on, grow apart and sometimes friendships fall apart. I think it’s lucky and rare to have a friendship that lasts and stays the same despite the inevitable changes we all go through. I know I feel lucky to have a few friends that I know will always be there for me no matter what.
It’s so important for our mental health to have good friends. I’ve heard it said that “You become like the five people you spend the most time with.” I don’t know if that’s a proven fact but I know that my husband and I definitely have become more alike after 3 years of marriage 😅
This week I caught up with a friend who I met initially at my previous job. I spend most days at home with Oscar and it can be quite draining. When I woke up on the day I’d planned to catch up with my friend, I honestly wasn’t feeling social at all. I seriously considered canceling (this happens a lot to me 😩) But I didn’t. I knew it would be good for me to interact with someone older than 6 months 😂 I’m glad I didn’t cancel. Even though we are quite different, I feel like we have a lot of similar views and beliefs and it was nice to have positive conversation especially amidst this “pandemic” the world is going through at the moment.
I think that good friendships are invaluable. Friends lift you up when you’re down. “Venting” or expressing your problems and difficulties to a friend can be so freeing. Even if they don’t know how to respond, just a listening ear is sometimes all you need. I do think that people come into our lives for a reason and I’m grateful for all the friends I’ve had over the years; whether we’ve drifted apart, moved on or are still good friends today.
So much of what you say resonates with feelings i am sure we all have at times. I used to think that I had no friends, but now with social media I know that I have many ;) - Anyway, I am lucky to have a group of mates that I grew up with, and we still meet reqularly - even today, we are having lunch in Chinatown (we always were big risk takers), unless they close down the restaurant before we get there. I like the idea that to have a friend, you need to be a friend - it is something we need to work on - even though it can be a challenge
ReplyDeleteHave fun!
ReplyDeleteI agree with that, friendship goes both ways and you should definitely treat others the way you want to be treated 😊
Well done jade... I think what you are saying is brave!
ReplyDeleteAnd it helps those of us realise we are not alone or so different.
Same same but different for me. People all say I’m extrovert. But the thought of having a party or people over is ‘feral position’ for me. Bar tending was my perfect job cos 5 minute relationships I’m A + at. Funny how others can look like they are what we wish we were yet the reality is ... if we all threw our cross in the street we’d pick up our own....and we sooooo don’t feel we can carry our own cross.
And then to catching up with ‘friends’ so many appointments I don’t make and ‘just’ miss. Sometimes I’m brave and go and ‘how nice!, how much a ‘site fire sore eyes’, I am rejuvenated ❤️
Another great blog post. I’m not in your moccasins and I’m crap at empathy but your words have struck a cord with me... if I may be so bold as to say In me you are not alone, you say things I think and feel- thank you, does it validate me?
You’re right, I wouldn’t have guessed it was a struggle for you too! You do appear to be a social butterfly! Just goes to show we never know what people are going through on the inside. I’m glad that you resonate with and enjoy what I’m writing, that’s what I hoped would happen with doing this 😊 Thank you xx
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