Jade.postpartum

I’ve been feeling a bit nostalgic lately and today I was going through my photos and taking a trip down memory lane. I don’t think it’s the healthiest of habits, but I often find myself thinking about the past and longing for certain aspects of my life to be how they once were... Since having Oscar my days have become quite repetitive and monotonous... especially these past few months in isolation. Even though I consider myself a bit introverted and antisocial, not being able to go out and socialise has affected my mental health significantly. I didn’t really make the connection until restrictions started being lifted and I started going out and doing things again. It makes a huge difference! My moods have been lifted and my thoughts are not so negative. I still have bad days but I no longer feel like I’m spiraling into the depths of depression and hopelessness which I was for a while there. When I look at old photos there are a lot of things that I miss. I miss my family. I mis

I wanna take a minute to talk about sleep 😅 As I’ve mentioned previously, my son Oscar is a terrible sleeper (good thing he’s cute 😉). As a first time mum I listened to all the advice, read all the books and tried all the “techniques” to get Oscar sleeping through the night. For the longest time I thought there was something wrong with him or something wrong with my mothering... I felt so much stress and anxiety about Oscar’s sleep. I was trying to follow schedules, trying to get him to “self-soothe” trying to follow all the advice I had heard to help him sleep better. I appreciate everyone who tried to help us I really do. Being a mum is tough especially when you’re sleep-deprived. For me personally though, sleep-training and letting my baby “cry-it-out” just doesn’t feel right. I’m not judging those that do, it just isn’t something I’m willing to do. Things got better for us when I found a group on Facebook that was full of mums with babies who didn’t like to sleep either 😅 m

Again I find myself putting off writing another blog entry because I want to be feeling better before doing so...However, I find that writing out my thoughts and feelings does help me to feel (at least a bit) better, especially somewhere others can read if they choose. It helps me to feel like someone is listening and your responses really have helped me to feel that I’m not alone in my struggles.  I know I’m not alone, I know I have supportive people around me who are there for me if I need them...I do want to say though that when I’m hurting, when I’m feeling down and in a spiral of negative thoughts, one of the most constant and re-occurring thoughts (lies) that keeps playing in my head is... “nobody cares about you” It’s like a horrible song playing in the background that I can’t figure out how to turn off. I can distract myself, keep busy and do things so I can’t hear that background music but when I’m alone with my thoughts again it plays loudly and it’s consuming... As I’m wr