Hello 2021!

 I’m back! 

I thought that maybe I would stop blogging because I felt like not many people were reading my entries. I tend to get a bit funny with things like that sometimes... I start to overthink it and worry about silly things...Actually I overthink and worry about silly things in all aspects of my life to be honest 🙃😅 

The thing is though that I do enjoy writing and it shouldn’t really matter how many people are reading along. I’m going to keep doing it for me...it’s a bonus if others get something out of it too 😊

So welcome back regular readers! And hello to any new ones 😊

 I have started 2021 with a determination to make this year better than the last. To really work on myself and my happiness and I’m pleased to say- so far, so good! 

The things that have helped me the most so far in this process of “working on myself” are:

1. Seeing a psychologist 

2. Going back to work 

3. Exercising and being more mindful about what I’m eating

Honestly seeing a psychologist has been one of the most life changing things for me. It has helped me tremendously to understand the way I think, feel and act. To talk about my problems with someone I trust, who in return validates my feelings and gives me helpful advice so I can move forwards.

Going back to work wasn’t actually something I planned on doing. Before having Oscar I thought that I just wanted be a “stay at home mum”. I thought that I would have no desire to go back to work and that I would feel satisfied and happy being at home every day with my son. What I didn’t anticipate before having Oscar was to develop postnatal depression and anxiety and for that to dramatically affect the way I felt about being at home every day.

I thought that I had a good understanding of mental illness until I became the one with the illness. I was in denial for the longest time because my illness didn’t “look” the way I thought it was supposed to look like. It took a long time for me to finally start getting the help I needed, and as much as I would have liked there to be a “quick fix”, that just isn’t the case for most people. For some it may be something that “comes and goes” and for others it becomes something they experience every day.

 For myself the best way to describe how I am experiencing it is “good days and bad days”. In the thick of it last year, every day felt like a bad day. Right now thankfully I am having more good days than bad, but I still do have bad days. The more understanding and accepting I am of myself and my emotions the easier it is for me to “come back” from the bad days.

Going back to work has been a huge help for me mentally. I am only working one day a week, but that one day apart from Oscar means I get a physical and mental break which is something I really need. When I don’t get a break I am moody, grumpy and unpleasant. I am a better mother to him when I have time away from him.

Not gonna lie, I’ve always hated exercise. Just not a fan. Never understood how people enjoy it. But a few years ago I started practicing yoga and I really liked it. I would practice yoga at home with YouTube and even started going to a class last year BC (Before Covid 😂). Being in lockdown my mental health plummeted and I stopped doing yoga and wasn’t exercising besides going for walks with Oscar. The combination of minimal exercise and emotional eating meant that I put on a lot of weight. It can be quite a viscous cycle... eating because I’m sad and sad because I’m eating too much 🤦‍♀️ 

I decided to download a fitness app and give it a try. In 2 weeks I’ve completed 11 workouts and lost 4 kilos so it’s going really well. It’s very motivating when you see progress straight away. I’ve also been better at controlling myself with food... not overeating and not going crazy with the sweets 😅 

I’ve always known that healthy eating and exercise is good for mental health but now I’m finally starting to feel the difference for myself. It’s initially hard to make those changes but it does get easier and I’m looking forward to continuing to improve my health and fitness.

So that brings me to the end of this “life update” of sorts. Hopefully next entry will continue to show progress and improvements.

Thanks for reading along ❤️