I remember my first day of high school so clearly. Hair pulled back in a tight ponytail and wearing soccer shorts and sneakers (even though I wasn’t sporty 🤷♀️). I think I even had a nice big pimple on my face... ohh the joys of puberty 😂
I was excited but equally terrified. All of us new students were gathered together in the school gym. My best friends from primary school had gone to different high schools so I found myself desperately scanning the group for a familiar face. I spotted two girls I knew, so I gravitated towards them and they became my first high school friends.
My first 2 years of high school I was very shy and reserved. I was a bit of a “nerd”, a straight A student. My two friends were more confident and had bigger personalities than me and we really didn’t have much in common...I found myself becoming quieter and shrinking even more. I didn’t like the person I was becoming. I didn’t want to be known as “the shy girl”. As much as I wanted to change I just didn’t have the courage to do anything big. I was too scared to walk away from what was familiar. I prayed that something would happen that would change my circumstances and help me out of the rut I was in.
The next year we were given the opportunity to choose some of our subjects. This was the change of scenery I needed and it was in those new classes I was taking that I found a group of friends that I really felt “myself” in. I felt comfortable and welcome and was finally able to “come out of my shell” so to speak. It definitely wasn’t the “coolest” group but they were genuine and accepted me and I think that this stage of my life really helped me become the person I am today.
I often think what would’ve happened if I hadn’t changed friendship groups... would I have continued to stay painfully shy? I think my life would have been very different.
There was another group in our year level who were the “popular” group. It’s strange thinking back to it because isn’t popular supposed to mean that you’re well liked? I don’t think many people actually liked them... they were your typical “mean girls” who would put others down to make themselves seem better. I never really got picked on at school, but there was one incident that has stayed with me all these years. Our class was going on an excursion and one of the girls from the popular group sat next to me on the bus. When her friend got on the bus she blurts out “Ewww why are you sitting next to her!” I don’t think I’ll ever forget that because I’d never had someone be so horrible to me for just being me 🤷♀️
I’ve thought about that experience a lot. High school can be exciting and fun but it can also be a living hell depending on who you ask. It made me think about those who get bullied constantly. I only had that one experience that made me feel like dirt...I can imagine how damaging it would be to hear things like that every day at school. I truly believe that if someone is constantly being told they are something negative that they start to believe it. I think the opposite is also true. Surrounding yourself with positive people who uplift and support you can help you flourish and fulfil your potential.
My final year of high school for some reason seemed so much harder than it actually was. If I had worked harder I definitely could’ve achieved better grades, even excelled if I wanted to, I know I had it in me. I don’t know why but half way through the year I just lost my motivation and stopped trying. I was just “over it” and would procrastinate as much as possible. I caused myself a lot of unnecessary stress and when the school year was over I was incredibly nervous to find out if I’d done enough...
I started high school with high grades and low self esteem. I finished by just scraping a pass but feeling a lot better about who I was.
The next year we were given the opportunity to choose some of our subjects. This was the change of scenery I needed and it was in those new classes I was taking that I found a group of friends that I really felt “myself” in. I felt comfortable and welcome and was finally able to “come out of my shell” so to speak. It definitely wasn’t the “coolest” group but they were genuine and accepted me and I think that this stage of my life really helped me become the person I am today.
I often think what would’ve happened if I hadn’t changed friendship groups... would I have continued to stay painfully shy? I think my life would have been very different.
There was another group in our year level who were the “popular” group. It’s strange thinking back to it because isn’t popular supposed to mean that you’re well liked? I don’t think many people actually liked them... they were your typical “mean girls” who would put others down to make themselves seem better. I never really got picked on at school, but there was one incident that has stayed with me all these years. Our class was going on an excursion and one of the girls from the popular group sat next to me on the bus. When her friend got on the bus she blurts out “Ewww why are you sitting next to her!” I don’t think I’ll ever forget that because I’d never had someone be so horrible to me for just being me 🤷♀️
I’ve thought about that experience a lot. High school can be exciting and fun but it can also be a living hell depending on who you ask. It made me think about those who get bullied constantly. I only had that one experience that made me feel like dirt...I can imagine how damaging it would be to hear things like that every day at school. I truly believe that if someone is constantly being told they are something negative that they start to believe it. I think the opposite is also true. Surrounding yourself with positive people who uplift and support you can help you flourish and fulfil your potential.
My final year of high school for some reason seemed so much harder than it actually was. If I had worked harder I definitely could’ve achieved better grades, even excelled if I wanted to, I know I had it in me. I don’t know why but half way through the year I just lost my motivation and stopped trying. I was just “over it” and would procrastinate as much as possible. I caused myself a lot of unnecessary stress and when the school year was over I was incredibly nervous to find out if I’d done enough...
I started high school with high grades and low self esteem. I finished by just scraping a pass but feeling a lot better about who I was.
Adolescence is such a defining period in our lives. The choices we make as teenagers have a huge impact on our future and ultimately the men or women we become.
I’m interested to hear other’s experiences of high school. I did have a lot of fun, but when I think back to high school more negative feelings come to me than positive 😬
I’ve also noticed that the whole “popularity” thing still affects me today. I find myself judging others and if I think they are a “popular” or “cool” person I instantly don’t want to get close to them and start thinking of reasons not to like them. It’s bizarre... who would’ve thought my high school experience would have this impact on me socially. To this day I still feel like I am “uncool” but I’m ok with that. I found that by the end of high school I had more friends than the “popular” kids because I was kind and genuine and that’s what’s important, not popularity.
What was your high school experience like? What impact has it had on your life?
I think you’re the kindest most loveliest person. I would have def been friends with you, if we went to school together haha
ReplyDeleteSchool was the worst for me. I went to 3 different primary schools but one of them twice at different years. And 4 high schools. I was always the new kids and managed to find friends easily but bullied relentlessly. Name calling, pushing, food being thrown at me, I got spat on once, told to die, and just general torment. I couldn’t really understand why it was always me. But I guess it taught me resilience and to always be kind to people no matter what. It has taken a long time to work through the negative impact school had on my self image and worth. But I guess life gives you what you can handle and those years of torment shaped me into who I am now, among other experiences in life. School is in the past now and I try not to dwell. My future children going to school, bullies will not fair so well if I find out they are messing with my kids.
I think you are too ! 😘
ReplyDeleteI guess it can go both ways can’t it.. it can drag you down or make you stronger. Glad that you’re was the latter but also horrible that you had to go through it 😩