Have a little faith

For those of you that don’t know,

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (commonly known as “Mormon”).

Growing up, we said prayers, read scriptures and went to church every Sunday. I never questioned it, it’s just what we did.

I attended all the church classes; including early morning seminary in my teens and evening institute as a young adult.

I then served a mission at the age of 21. For those unfamiliar with the term, a mission is voluntary service for the church. I was assigned to the North-West of England and Wales for a period of 18 months.

My mission was one of the most unique and profound experiences of my life.

The purpose of a mission is to “Invite others to come unto Christ”. This is not an easy thing to do,

and as an introvert, I was very much out my comfort zone.

I learned not to judge people by their appearance; some of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met were those who looked a bit rough around the edges.

I also discovered that despite our many differences, we all have the common desires to find happiness, to feel loved and to belong.

Some of the happiest moments in my life were on my mission, helping other people to find those things.

My deepest desire in life has always been to marry and have children. Families are a central focus within the church and I looked forward to starting my own more than anything else.

I have spoken openly about my experience of motherhood and how it is nothing like I expected it to be. I have struggled every single day since having my son.

Attending church has also been a struggle. I won’t go into all the reasons why, but it has been a very challenging time for me in all aspects of my life.

I know that there will always be challenges, that’s one thing that’s guaranteed in life...

But today as I sat in church I felt at peace. I was reminded of all the parts I love, even though there are parts that I struggle with.

Rather than turn away from something that has played a such a huge role in my life...

I feel really strongly that if I want to see changes in the church- I need to be a part of it.

Comments

Deep and Meaningful 2am thoughts

It’s 1:30am and I should be sleeping But I’m wide awake with a million thoughts buzzing around in my head I thought I’d dust off the old blog and type it all out…I enjoy sharing these things with the world Every now and then I scroll back on my old posts and read what “past Jade” had to say about life. I did that this evening and a peculiar thing happened…I feel like it woke up parts of my brain that hadn’t been used for a while… hear me out here, I’m not going cuckoo I swear 😅 “Past Jade” saw the world differently to “Present Jade”. She was a little more naive and optimistic; her thoughts were lighter, happier, more grateful, more spiritual. “Present Jade” seems to be stuck in some unhelpful and unpleasant thought patterns. Life feels heavy and I often feel overwhelmed and unenthused…focused on my problems, not my blessings. Looking back on my life through “Past Jade’s” eyes made me think about things a little differently; challenging the gloomy and self-deprecating thoug...

Round and round

I seem to be stuck in a cycle… I’ll be “on top of things” ticking off my to-do list, feeling like things are finally starting to “get better”… Then I start slipping into familiar, unhelpful patterns and get I stuck there, feeling weighed down by life and like nobody understands me or knows how to support me. I’ve put a lot of time, effort and money into trying all sorts of therapies, methods and products that are intended to help me “heal”: Psychologists, life coaches, self-help books, medications, herbal medicines, journallin g, affirmations, yoga & meditation- I feel like I’ve tried everything! But nothing really sticks. Some things help for a while but I inevitably “give up” and slide right back to where I was at the beginning. It’s incredibly frustrating. It’s hard for me to see any progress when I keep going round in circles. I know that recovery is a life long journey, that there’s not a “magic pill” that will solve my problems, but it’s hard not to feel discourage...

Why I still go to church

Most (if not all) of you who know me will know that I’m a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints (Mormon). Growing up, I think I was the only Mormon at my school (besides my brothers). I wasn’t afraid or embarrassed to let people know, but I didn’t parade it around either. Especially as a teenager, being a member of the church and actively following my beliefs made me pretty “uncool” and I probably did stand out a bit because there were a lot of things that “everyone” was doing that I wasn’t. I think for a lot of people who have grown up in religious families, those teenage years are really when you start to think for yourself and question your beliefs. Religious or not, its in our teenage years that we really begin to figure out who we are and what’s important to us. For me I think it was probably around the age of 15 that I “gained my testimony” which is a phrase used a lot at church but probably sounds strange to someone outside of it. Basically it ...

Jade.postpartum

Search This Blog