Bring on the summer ☀️

Those of you who have been following my mental health journey will know that it has been a hell of a ride! Up and down, back and forth and everything in between!

I started this year feeling optimistic, hopeful and ready to have a much better year than the last.

However, it didn’t take long for the tide to turn and drag me under again.

We spent most of this year in lockdown. It was déjà vu, Groundhog Day, I couldn’t believe that we were back here in this hole.

People living outside of Victoria may not quite understand what it feels like to live under such tight restrictions for the most part of two years.

I imagine there are some reading, rolling their eyes and thinking “It can’t be that bad”... and maybe for some it wasn’t...but if you, like me, were struggling with mental illness and forced to live in isolation then yes, it is that bad...it feels suffocating.

Back in March I started on anti depression and anxiety meds and after a few tweaks to get the dosage right, I was feeling a significant improvement in my moods. It was such a relief!

We were able to have a lovely trip away to Woolongong to visit family over Easter and it was definitely the highlight of my year.

We took advantage of the 10 minute walk to the beach and spent a lot of time in the Ocean. It was glorious!

As the waves splashed over my body I felt fully relaxed for the first time since having Oscar.

It was pure bliss.

Sometimes when my mind is drowning in negativity I think back to that happy memory. It gives me hope. Things can and will get better. I will feel like that again.

This past Friday was “Freedom Day” here in Melbourne. Although things are slow to open up again, it really felt like a weight was lifted from me.

As I drove to the park with Oscar, I started singing along to the music coming through the speakers. I realised that I hadn’t done this for such a long time.

For me to be singing again was a sign that things are indeed starting to get better.

I’ve made it through the winter.

Summer is nearly here and I can’t wait ☀️

Comments

Deep and Meaningful 2am thoughts

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