It’s been a while since I’ve posted. My most recent diagnosis has been weighing heavy on me, it’s been a tough few months… “I think you have bipolar disorder,” The psychiatrist announced during our first session back in July. The words echoed in my ears as I left her office and got back into the car. As soon as I shut the door, I just broke down…sobbing uncontrollably for the whole drive home. The diagnosis made sense. It was relieving to finally have answers…but I was frustrated…Why was this not picked up sooner?! Why did it have to take 3 years? Those 3 years were harder than I ever could have imagined…not a day went by that I wasn’t consumed by the internal battle in my mind. Mental illness is such a difficult thing to explain…especially to someone who hasn’t experienced it….it’s so much more than just a “bad day” or a “hard time”, and it certainly isn’t something you choose! Quotes and platitudes such as: “You’re as happy as you make up your mind to be…” are insult...
Becoming a mother turned my whole world upside down. It’s the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me.