Jade.postpartum

This is a little scary for me to open up about but I feel like my previous posts have been leading up to it and I’m just continuing on from where I left off... This week I finally built up the courage to talk to a professional about my mental health. If I am being completely honest with myself I have to admit that overall I am not doing ok. I have moments where I feel ok, moments of happiness, moments of peace, moments of satisfaction but most of the time I have a lingering feeling of anxiety and a tendency for my thoughts to spiral and dwell on the negative. I have grown used to not getting a good nights sleep, but after particularly bad nights I do feel quite down and depressed. I used to think that mental illness looked the same on everyone...I had a stereotypical picture of what depression and anxiety was and because I didn’t look like that picture, I thought that I didn’t have those problems...for the longest time I’ve been in denial and kept telling myself I’m fine, I’ll be fine...

It’s been a while since my last post 😅 To be honest I haven’t been in a good headspace and I wanted to wait til I was feeling a little better. Everything that’s going on in the world right now has added to my anxieties and overall feeling of uneasiness. I’m sure there are probably a lot of you reading this that have also been feeling a similar way. Being cooped up inside all day isn’t the best for mental health, but it’s important that we do and I’m sure we all know the reasons why by this point. On Good Friday the Prophet/leader of my church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) instigated a global Fast in response to the virus. Those who participated went without food and water for the day and offered their prayers along with this small sacrifice to plead with God for relief from the pandemic. Although I wasn’t able to avoid food and water due to breastfeeding, I still joined in this fast and spent the day in prayer and meditation. Whether or not this global fast b...